Old habits die hard especially at the holidays.
Gift giving is definitely something that has become a comfortable tradition. But what if…as kids, neighbors and younger friends of the Seniors in our communities, there was a dramatic shift and offerings were made that involved personal time and the gift of “presence”... instead of “stuff”.
Here’s some ideas that I think might be truly appreciated and fun and most definitely would be welcomed especially for those who might live alone.
-Plan ahead for a visit. It’s important to discuss preferences and limitations for a visit with your loved one.
-Offer to bring a meal to share and perhaps one to leave behind as a leftover that can easily be reheated.
Ask about preferences and oblige their needs to observe limitations especially if food items need to be gluten free or lower in sugar.
-Home made treats are always welcomed. Just a few cookies and perhaps a caffeine free tea that can be shared together can be very welcome.
-Consider playing a game of the Seniors choosing while you’re visiting. There are many on the market that fuel brain cells and trigger memory leaving the Senior feeling that sense of accomplishment.
-Re-visit old memories by asking about the old days.
Exact details are not the point.
Listen to the stories and encourage the Senior to share all aspects of the event even if it includes a memory that is difficult. Sometimes, we all just need that ear to listen to us and be heard. Days gone by might seem like a piece of cake compared to the problems of today's world to us, but it was their world and those were the building blocks that created the foundations that we now stand on in this world. Respect that and say it. I’ve seen a brightening in the eyes of those that I’ve acknowledged, that was so heart warming that I’ll never forget my own reaction.
-Make notes of health issues that seem to be different from a previous visit. Ask about Dr visits, gently, without focusing on alarming outcomes that might be troubling to the Senior. There’s absolutely no need to share a news story that highlights a fearful issue about an illness. Seniors mask the fears that they live with. Fueling those fears is heartless. So don’t.
Oftentimes, Seniors are much more accepting of their circumstances than we would want them to be.
-Re-schedule a visit if you find that you’re unable to attend as planned. So just be honest and if you’re able to reschedule then do so.
-Human interaction is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to a Senior. The subtlety of a touch of their hand, a gentle hug if it’s accepted, a smile and a nod of true understanding of circumstances will mean a lot.
It’s not easy spending time with Seniors who might be
frustrated with their circumstances. But it’s important to try to be there for those who have dedicated their lives to our futures. After all, we’ll be the ones needing this presence someday soon from others.
Lastly, bring the very best of yourselves that you can to the visit. YOUR PRESENCE is appreciated beyond measure when there is a sincerity and compassionate undertone.
Remember to see those you’re visiting with the respect and admiration that they have carried forward as our hope for the future.
Pat Larsen lives, works and plays in Greene County with her husband Chris and their puppy Lily. She is syndicated columnist in Greene, Northern Ulster and Columbia and Albany counties.
Pat’s first book…REFLECTIONS…anything but an ordinary life is available on Kindle KDP and on Amazon.
The stories within its pages speak to Baby Boomers and Seniors growing wiser with age.
Feel free to contact Pat to chat at 518-275-868.
Or text a message to say hello.
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