You’d think after a solid 5O+ years of marriage that I’d know, pretty clearly, what my life partners' culinary likes and dislikes were. Right?
Well, guess again. I’ve been asking myself that question for days now.
I wasn’t aware, apparently, how many food preferences he actually had about meals in general. Add to that stew, the shock of then finding out how many times he just ate a meal to keep the peace. Cue, gut punch…my gut, when I recently learned that truth.
Mind you, it's not my cooking prowess that he dislikes.
I am known to offer up a great meal or two pretty often.
I’ve decided it was probably the limited cooking skills in his household that began the degree of food discernment that he kept hidden from me.
He’d used the expression…”blow torched fish and over baked potatoes” pretty often when describing dinner as a kid.
If you’re intrigued by this tale and plan to read to the end, just know that
I’ve added a bit of hyperbole intertwined within this story, just for fun.
I challenge you to find the culinary clues within my accounting that I apparently missed from spending a life together and to see if you can detect where the challenges were rooted along the way.
It all began on a recent trip to the grocers.
We plan meals and then shop together.
Well, I just grab a few items that I can put together at the market based on seasonal availability and HE brings along a printed recipe.
Our thoughts turned to shifting our meal plans to be in alignment with those ingredients that would create warming varieties of yummy concoctions.
I’m not complaining, mind you. In our household cooking up elaborate meals was relegated to the weekends, if that. During the week, it was a variety of interesting basics of meat and veg…so no big deal involved. He loved to cook and would conjure up a meal or two a month, then once a week, then every other day as his workload lightened to that of a happy retiree who actively loved being engaged in meal prep. I actually loved that involvement and took to the role as his social media food stylist and photographer. I’d display many of the meals he created with bragging rights of his prowess making up the post.
Then things took a turn.
It wasn’t just his creations of basic fare. Some spaghetti here and a roast chicken there.
It began as a shift to international cuisines with names like Yucatan-style Pulled Pork with his own version of an Annatto Spice Blend or Filipino
Adobo with pineapple. Beer Braised Venison was a definite on his list once a week during the winter months….on and on went his checklist of exquisite concoctions that were never part of our world growing up.
I loved the food. He loved preparing the meals. He even took to creating his very own 200 page cook book file.
Then this happened…there we were walking along at our local grocers. All of the Holiday favorites were on aisle displays indicating that it was time to grab that “Advent” calendar full of chocolates or that extra bag of stuffing mix for the Thanksgiving table. The fruits of the season had shifted to persimmons and were available in abundance finally and the mandarin oranges were ready to peel and eat.
I was often the one who would push the grocery cart and meander along the aisles checking out prices and feeling that excitement over the seasonal favorites now being available. One such favorite were the shelves full of pumpkin pie mix.
As I was about to reach for a can or two of that golden mash that would make up one of the Thanksgiving favorites…he stopped me and said this…
“I have never liked pumpkin pie, ever!”
OK, I realize no one died from my reaction to that statement. I was in a bit of shock. WHO has ever said that they disliked Pumpkin PIE?
It’s almost UN-American. ( I can practically hear you Apple Pie fanatics gasping now).
I guess I reacted much more loudly than I realized. Before we knew it the entire grocery store was in on the tally of who did and who didn’t like this luscious combination of pumpkin and spices and a bit of cream with some cinnamon. WHO?
We had the manager of the store laughing at the hub bub that we created.
The employees and even the check out personnel were taking bets on who might be part of the “we don’t, won’t and never before liked ever…categories”.
Can you imagine that I’ve spent a lifetime of slaving over the perfect crust for that pumpkin filling that he was going to eat?
Yup, the pumpkin pie lie was finally out in the open and it took my husband's own culinary confidence to break through to admit it.
Pat Larsen lives, works, plays, and prays right in Greene County, NY.
She is a syndicated columnist and author.
Her second book will be out soon.
Feel free to contact Pat at 518-275-8686 to share your story.
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